Main Character
Don't be an extra in your own movie
You've been an extra in your own movie for so long, you think it's wisdom.
You're not impulsive like your friend who quit without a plan. You're not reckless like that founder burning through savings. You're responsible. Strategic. Waiting for the right moment.
This is the lie that keeps you safe and stuck.
My three-year-old changes the rules mid-game if she's losing. Declares herself the winner. Starts over freely. We call this immature. But somewhere between 3 and 30, we start calling surrender "strategy."
Every week someone asks me how to "get into VC." They want my job while building companies I'd kill to invest in. But being employee five at a rocket ship feels risky. Being a VC feels prestigious. They're trading their story for mine.
I get it. I spent years at companies telling myself product management was "basically entrepreneurship." It wasn't. But it felt responsible. I had visa issues. Needed stability. All true. All excuses dressed as wisdom.
A founder I know started her company with $5K saved and two kids under three. Another launched on an H1-B, knowing deportation loomed over every decision. A third started her first company at 44, after two decades of being told she'd missed her window. They weren't reckless. They just knew that waiting for perfect conditions is the most dangerous choice you can make.
Look, I'm a VC now. Easy for me to say "take risks" from here and comment from the cheap seats. But I also waited 12 years for a green card. Jumped across four startups under visa restrictions. Had kids while joining ten-person teams. The constraints were real. The choice to let them define me wasn't.
Being an extra means never getting bad reviews. Can't fail if you never audition. Your parents approve. Your spouse feels secure. Your friends think you're smart for not chasing silly dreams.
But your kids are watching. They're learning dreams defer to calendars. That ideas become regrets. That being responsible means being resigned.
Group chats fill with the same complaints. Screenshots of impossible house prices. The same "must be nice" under someone else's win. These aren't conversations. They're support groups for people who've agreed to be audience members in their own lives.
Here's the truth: You're not stuck. You're scared. And you've gotten so good at calling fear "wisdom" that now you believe it yourself.
The camera's been rolling. The director's chair has been empty. You've been standing offstage, waiting for the right scene.
The scene you're waiting for was this one.
This is exactly the kind of piece I want to wake up to. This was the first thing I read as soon as I got to the office and opened my inbox. What an brilliant statement > The scene you're waiting for was this one.
"And you've gotten so good at calling fear "wisdom" that now you believe it yourself." This line is so apt. The stakes have become even higher today to differentiate and compete while the ability to start becomes lower and lower. The step forward is. I see it as a game of courage and mindset when everyone else has access to same resources, what's the story we tell to move forward.